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Want to Raise Successful Kids? Let Them Fail

boy failure 408Much has been written about the attributes of high-achieving adults, and what makes them different from everyone else. But if you’re a parent, a more compelling question may be: “What can I do to make sure my kids succeed in life?” While it may seem counter-intuitive, the best thing you can do is let them fail. That’s according to Dr. Stephanie O’Leary, a clinical psychologist specializing in neuropsychology, mother of two and author of Parenting in the Real World: The Rules Have Changed. The following are a few of the ways in which failure is good for children:

1. Experiencing failure helps your child learn to cope.

Playing the role of parental protector can interfere with your child’s ability to practice being disappointed or emotionally bruised. While the short-term result is more smiles and fewer tears, the long-term consequence is lack of resilience and weak coping skills.

2. Hardship builds character.

Without having first-hand experience with failure, it’s hard for kids to relate to others who are struggling. The punchline is that allowing your child to fail helps build character and creates opportunities for developing a healthy degree of sensitivity.

3. The older you are the first time you “fall,” the longer the drop and the harder the landing.

Letting kids practice failing is an important lesson that is easiest learned early in life. Think about it–the consequences of defeat or failure in preschool or early grade-school are far less dire than the consequences during the teenage years.

4. Failing teaches your child to persevere.

Parents love nothing more than seeing their kids experience effortless success. That said, few kids–or people for that matter–have the luxury of being the best at everything all of the time. Allowing your child to fail or face the fact that they may not be number one all of the time teaches perseverance.

5. Rescuing your child sends the message that you don’t trust them.

If you give yourself permission to step back and allow your child to fail, it ultimately sends the message that you trust your child. Your willingness to see your child struggle communicates that you believe they are capable and that they can handle any outcome, even a negative one.

Excerpted from “Want to Raise Successful Kids? Let Them Fail” in Inc. online. Read the full article for more details.

Source: Inc.|Want to Raise Successful Kids? Let Them Fail, https://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/want-to-raise-successful-kids-let-them-fail.html | © 2018 Manuseto Ventures

To schedule an evaluation or to get advice about your child’s challenges, call or email a CHC Care Manager at 650.688.3625 or caremanager@chconline.org

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