Strategies for When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Go to Therapy

People of all ages may benefit from seeing a mental health professional. However, children may feel afraid to talk with someone they don’t know. They may also be wary of something they don’t fully understand. You may ask yourself: How do I get my child to see a psychologist?

It’s common for a child not to want to see a therapist because that person is a stranger, notes Scyatta Wallace, PhD, a psychologist in Brooklyn, New York, who specializes in creating leadership development and mental health wellness programs for teenage girls and young women.

You can help your child overcome their fear or reluctance by explaining why therapy might be helpful.

Many children may be resistant to beginning treatment. It’s important to be understanding while also recognizing their needs and what’s best for them. Child therapists are skilled at managing a child’s discomfort or hesitation, and many children often feel open to continuing to meet with a therapist after initial sessions.

Finding the right child therapist

Consider that it may be challenging to get an appointment with a child therapist because of the pandemic’s ongoing strain on mental health care availability.

Also, the first therapist you try may not click with you or your child’s personality.

“You might have to go through one or two therapists before it’s a good match for your child.” But don’t give up, says Wallace.

“It doesn’t mean that you failed or that your child is completely against it. It just means you haven’t found the right person.”

If the first therapist is a miss and if you’re able, take some time to explore more, and seek referrals from people you trust, like your child’s pediatrician or other parents.

For example, Wallace says, some therapists are quite calm, while others are chatty. During your search, think about how your child connects with people in general.

Another tip for parents is to look for a licensed mental health professional with expertise and training for the type of therapy that will work best for your child and family.

How to get your child to talk with a therapist

Before you suggest therapy, it’s a good idea to really listen to your child and note how they express their concerns. says Mary Alvord, PhD, a psychologist in Rockville, Maryland, who works with children and specializes in anxiety and mood disorders and regulating emotions and behaviors.

Your child will likely relate more to you if you use the same words they do when expressing themselves.

Convincing your child to go to therapy may take time, and it may be better to encourage a child by suggesting why therapy might be helpful.

Parents can explain that therapy can be a way to stay healthy, just like daily routines can help us care for our bodies.

It can be helpful for children to understand if mental health is framed in the same way.

When you talk about therapy with your child:

• Try to stay calm.
• Try to manage your own feelings of nervousness or frustration beforehand.
• Share a positive personal experience, maybe you were able to sleep better after talking with a therapist.
• Encourage your child to “give it a try” at least once.
• Frame therapy in a positive light to increase the likelihood that your child is not afraid to talk about or participate in it.

Excerpted from “Strategies for When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Go to Therapy” in Psych Central. Read the full article online for additional details on signs that your child may benefit from therapy and more.

Source: Psych Central | Strategies for When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Go to Therapy, https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-your-child-doesnt-want-to-go-to-therapy-but-needs-to | © 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company.

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