During a divorce, children may feel overwhelmed by the changes in their living situation and routine, the loss of stability, and the potential conflict between their parents. They may even feel responsible for the divorce or worry about their relationship with each parent.
But when children are supported by their parents through the process, it can help them cope with the change in a healthy way. Supporting your children through the divorce can also help protect them from experiencing toxic stress. Toxic stress occurs when a child experiences prolonged and overwhelming stress without support from caregivers or healthy coping mechanisms. This type of stress can disrupt children’s physical and mental development.
The support and care that parents provide play a vital role in helping children maintain a sense of security and develop healthy coping mechanisms during this challenging time.
Steps parents can take to support and nurture their child
Communicate openly and honestly
Children may have a lot of questions and concerns, and it’s important to provide them with age-appropriate answers and reassurance. Listen actively and avoid placing blame or burdening them with adult concerns. As much as possible, focus the conversation on how much you love your child and how that will never change.
Help them understand and manage their emotions
Your child will feel a lot of big emotions during this time. Children are still learning what their feelings mean and how to work through them in a healthy way. As a caregiver, you can help your child understand their emotions and develop healthy ways to manage their big feelings. You can try encouraging them to express themselves through art, writing, or other creative outlets. Teach them deep breathing exercises or meditation to help calm their minds.
Provide stability
As much as you can, try to maintain some sense of routine and consistency in your child’s life, even if their living situation has changed. This can help them feel a sense of stability and security when things are constantly changing. For example, if your child is used to reading a story together before bed, keep that routine going throughout the divorce and after.
Seek professional support
It can be incredibly helpful to seek professional help for your child and/or yourself as you navigate the divorce. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable support and guidance during the divorce process. Additionally, support groups for children of divorced parents can provide a safe and supportive environment for your child to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.
Divorce can be a challenging experience for parents and children alike. However, by actively supporting and nurturing children throughout this process, caregivers can make a significant difference in their children’s ability to cope and thrive.
Source: First Five California | How to Help Children Cope With Divorce, https://www.first5california.com/en-us/articles/how-to-help-children-cope-with-divorce | © 2024 First 5 California, also known as the California Children and Families Commission, State of California
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